Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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