Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
