you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
