did you get engaged???
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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