I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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