Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Couch. On fire.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
