If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
