yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
