Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
