For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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