i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
