he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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