don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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