Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I wear drunk well.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
