Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Boobs are out for the taking
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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