Where is the hickey?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Randomize
