Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
