Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
