All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
