would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
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