So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
