Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize