two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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