You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
