You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
