the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
