shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
