Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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