The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Randomize
