I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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