He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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