Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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