Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
