his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
