Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
