Rock
Scissors
Fuck
He is an equal opportunity slut.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
