first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
