i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
