dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Randomize
