i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
