i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
