Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
