We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
