I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
