How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
is wine microwaveable?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
