I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
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That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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