I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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