Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
