Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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