I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
