this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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