Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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