Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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